Gaza City – In a stifling tent at the port of Gaza, Iman Al-Rahel, 45, prepares his family for lunch.
She sends her 13 -year -old son, Yazen, to get food at Takiyya nearby, or community cooking.
“I think they serve rice today,” she whispers with her daughter, a slight smile relaxing on her tired face.
But this brief smile disappears when the conversation turns to another wave of travel possible after Israel’s last announcement that it plans to grasp Gaza City.
“God does not like it,” she said, pressing his hand against his chest. “I only pray that it does not happen, that we are not forced to leave for the South.”
However, says Iman, if Israel should officially order an evacuation, it would be among the first to go south of Gaza, “without hesitation”.
The mother of five stayed in Beit Laahiya in the north of Gaza during the Israeli invasion at the start of the war after starting in October 2023, moving her family from one shelter to another as the tanks were advancing and the bombardment has intensified.
“I cannot forget a moment of that time,” said Iman quietly. “In Beit Lahiya, the school in which we won was besieged by tanks and snipers last December. My 23 -year -old son (Abdullah) was killed in the neck at the time, just like my husband. They barely survived before we were finally authorized to move to Western Gaza City.
“I saw murders, executions, elite shooters, arrests, body parts, bombing and targeted attacks,” she adds bitterly. “There are things I can describe and others that I cannot.”
Survival was not only aimed at avoiding Israeli bombs and elite shooters, but also to find enough to eat in Israel, it is increasingly difficult for humanitarian aid to enter Gaza.
“We used to recover the weeds, herbs and leaves of Khubeza (Mallow) from the fields and cook them for children. It was our only food, with fodder or chopped animal barley as a substitute for flour (wheat) when available, ”she recalls.
It is a position that Iman never wants to be again.
“I felt overwhelming with regret and guilt towards my children and my husband because I insisted to stay in the north instead of southern evacuation,” says Iman with a sad smile.
“I could never repeat this experience. If there is another trip, I will immediately leave without hesitation. ”
Impossible to go south
But everyone in the Al-Rahel family does not agree.
The eldest daughter of Iman, Ghadeer al-Rahel, 24, interrupts.
“I will never go south again. Impossible, “she said categorically. “You can go, but I will stay here in the North, whatever happens.”
Ghadeer had evacuated south with her husband and her little daughter in early November 2023.
His words affect an ongoing debate between the Palestinians in Gaza, even within families. For some, the best chances of survival are to leave the areas in military operations in military operations, while others point out that the trip to other regions does not necessarily ensure safety, and also makes it more difficult to find an appropriate shelter, food and water.
Each family member talks about their own experience, which has trained their point of view.
“You have not experienced the horrors to stay in the North. If you have done, you wouldn’t even think of staying,” Iman tells his daughter.
Ghadeer immediately retorts: “And you, my mother, my father and my brothers, you have not known the difficulties of the trip either: passing from one place to another, living in unknown southern camps and areas without water or food, in unbearable conditions.”
Ghadeer continues, trying to convince the rest of his family.
“We fled my husband’s family home in the north of Gaza under bombing. We crossed the Israeli checkpoint on the road to Salah al-Din, hands raised, tanks in front of us. We went to Khan Younis, then he was evacuated. Then, in Rafah, since, too, was declared evacuated. Then in Al-Mawasi at Khan Younis.
“It was humiliation and suffering beyond words,” she adds. “In Rafah, the overcrowding of the displaced was unbearable. My tent was in the middle of the street because there was no space. In addition to this came the rain, the cold and the lack of food and water. ”
Ghadeer makes tears as she talks about feeling isolated, cut off from her family in the North for more than three months between December 2023 and February 2024, when communication networks collapsed.
“My baby, six months old at the time – she was now two years old – has become so sick, hospitalized with intestinal problems”, Ghadeer strap, while she tells the story of her daughter Ayoul.
“I needed my mother and family next to me, but I was alone and I didn’t even know how they went.
“For so long, I prayed just to hear their voices, to see them again, knowing that they were alive. I can never forget the suffering that I endured alone during the trip,” she adds, tears running on her face, while her mother, sitting in silence with the rest of the family, also begins to cry.
“This is why I will never return to the south again, whatever happens. I want to stay here,” said Ghadeer with challenge.
The family debate does not reach any conclusion. Ghadeer insists on staying, while his family insists on evacuating.
“This is not what you feel. We will not leave you, whatever happens. You come with us, ”explains his brother Abdullah.
Ghadeer does not answer, while his mother responds only with prayers and pleas that they never make a trip again.
“We have enough. Where are people supposed to go? How can they again bring the torment of the southern movement?
“We got used to disasters, and to the idea that what happens is always worse. But we pray to God to let ourselves stay here in the North, ”she says. “But if we are forced under bombing and death, what can we do?”
Divided families
This gap between Iman and Ghadeer is present among many families in Gaza, torn between staying and leaving.
Abdul Hamid Abu Awda, 71, and his 50 -year -old wife, Reem, are also locked up in debate with their children, who evacuated south during the first phase of the war.
Abdul Hamid and Reem insisted on staying at home in the Jabalia refugee camp near Gaza City, although they urged their six children and their families to go south.
“I thought my grandchildren are young, and my sons and daughters always have responsibilities. But I am an old man, with only my wife. Why should I flee south? ” Abdul Hamid said to Tel Aviv Tribune, based on a mattress outside his tent facing the sea.
But now he has changed his mind, lining up with the decision of his children to evacuate the South if the official orders come.
“My health is not good. My wife and I need care, and we want to stay close to our children. I left them the decision. If they go there, I go with them, ”he says.
Staying in the North has never been easy, says Abdul Hamid, telling the difficult experience of moving shelter centers with his wife to schools in the United Nations.
“(It was) terrifying, and we barely survived there. Reservoirs, an invasion of the soil, a famine, elite shooters, arrests. Repeating it is not easy. This time, if that happens, it will be even more violent and brutal.”
Her 41 -year -old son Hussein, who went south with his family and siblings in October 2023, agreed.
“If they say they are evacuating, I will evacuate again. We are unarmed civilians. We have no power, no weapons, no tanks to stay and fight,” he shruggs.
“Yes, the trip is the hardest option of everyone. I have experienced it and I know its bitterness. But what can I do else? I don’t want to die.”
However, Hussein’s sister, Manal, 38, does not agree.
“As for me, I want to die here,” she said.
Manal tells Tel Aviv Tribune her dream of leaving Gaza and emigrating before the war.
“Life in Gaza was already difficult and I wanted to leave,” she explains. “Me too, I evacuated with my brothers and sisters to the south, and it was a bitter experience.”
It was so bitter that she insists now to stay.
“I want to leave if and when I choose. I want to decide for myself if I have to stay in Gaza or leave. I’m tired of being forced to go where they dictate, “she says.
The family is silent to their words, but their father interrupts.
“Very well then, we will send you just in Switzerland now?” Everyone laughs.
“You speak as if Israel is asking for our opinion or we worry about our wishes. I am sure that if you have seen a reservoir at the end of the street, you would change your mind immediately,” said Abdul Hamid.
The laughter of his dark humor continues.
“All we hope is that we will no longer make a trip. We thought that the bombing was the worst thing. Then came hunger, and we thought it was the worst. Now the trip,” adds Abdul Hamid. “But now we say, we prefer to die of hunger rather than getting around again.”
