I started my bachelor’s degree in architectural engineering at the Islamic University of Gaza (IUG) in 2021. I was very proud of myself for entering the field of study that I had always wanted to pursue.
My life seemed ready for the next five years. I was going to study hard, try to pass my exams with good grades, do an internship at a reputable engineering firm, and then apply for a master’s degree.
Everything went according to plan until October 7 last year. That day I had to submit a college project that I had lost a lot of sleep over. The shelling started in the morning but I paid no attention to it and continued working on the project. I was used to Israeli attacks on Gaza. I had experienced half a dozen.
Then I learned that university classes had been suspended. Again, I thought things would get back to normal soon, so I finished the project and submitted it.
The next day, October 8, I had to discuss a group assignment with three other classmates. This was to be our last discussion to finalize the project before submitting it on October 10. Instead of talking to my classmates, I received the news that one of them, my dear friend Alaa, had been killed by an Israeli airstrike. Instead of finishing my college homework, I cried to my friend.
On October 14, I said goodbye to my home in Gaza City as my parents, siblings and I fled to Khan Younis, thinking we would be safe there. I left behind my laptop, my projects, my books and everything related to my studies.
In Khan Younis, I dreamed of returning to university. Eventually I did, but not to study. At the beginning of December, a mosque located directly opposite the building where we were staying was bombed by the Israeli army. We were afraid and sought shelter at the nearby Al-Aqsa University, taking almost nothing with us. That night the building we were staying in was attacked and destroyed. We had to dig through the rubble and dig out whatever we could find.
We stayed another month and a half in Khan Younis. I was afraid to go online, let alone check on my classmates and friends. Just checking my WhatsApp was a terrifying nightmare. I was afraid to learn of the deaths of people I knew. In December, I learned that another classmate, Fatima, had been killed by the Israeli army along with her father and siblings.
In January, the Israeli army intensified its bombing, massacring hundreds of people in Khan Younis, then attacked Al-Khair hospital near us. We fled to Rafah and settled in a small tent set up in the street. Life was truly miserable.
But sometimes hope comes like a surprise visitor, when you least expect it. In March, news spread of a plan to allow students from Gaza to enroll in West Bank universities and take classes remotely. It was such a relief. I felt like I was no longer wasting my life. I registered for the program and waited to hear from one of the universities.
When Birzeit University (BZU) contacted me, I felt like fortune was finally smiling on me. I signed up for the maximum number of classes I was allowed and happily waited to start studying again. But my joy was short-lived. Just five days into the semester, on May 7, my family and I had to flee the advancing Israeli army again. Rafah was under attack, so we had to evacuate to Khan Younis.
The Israeli army’s assault on Khan Younis has left it resembling a ghost town. There was nothing left there. Buildings and infrastructure were completely destroyed. It wasn’t suitable for life, but we had no choice. More than a million people evacuated with us from Rafah, IDP camps and other areas like Deir el-Balah were on the brink.
This move prevented me from completing my studies at BZU. Although life in a tent on the streets of Rafah was tough, the internet worked for most. In Khan Younis, there was no Internet at all. The closest point I could connect to was at al-Mawasi, seven kilometers (four miles) away.
I had to travel this distance with a heavy heart to send an email to the BZU to let them know that I was terminating my registration.
In June, I learned that my home university, IUG, had developed a plan for students to complete their degrees remotely through a combination of self-study and teaching.
He split the semester we started last October in two, giving us a month to study a subject that would normally take months before taking the Part 1 exams; then we had to do the same for the second part.
Finding instructors for each course was a challenge. Many teachers have been killed and many others have also been displaced and are in precarious situations, struggling to provide food and water for their families. As a result, we had one instructor assigned to the entire course of almost 800 students.
I signed up for two courses and began walking the seven kilometers to al-Mawasi each day under the blazing sun, passing piles of rubble, garbage and puddles of sewage, to download courses and stay in touch with my university.
I was satisfied with it. Anything was better than sitting in a hot tent and wasting away in despair.
But maintaining this study remotely was extremely difficult. Shortly after I began my studies, the Israeli army carried out a massive attack on al-Mawasi, dropping eight huge bombs on the camp, killing at least 90 people and injuring 300 others.
There was chaos and fear everywhere. I myself was afraid to go near what was supposed to be a “safe zone”.
I didn’t go back online for a week. The Israeli army damaged communications infrastructure. When I finally managed to connect, the signal was very weak. It took me two days to download a book.
I managed to resume my studies, but I was disrupted again. New evacuation orders issued by the Israeli army forced thousands of people to head to the empty area where we had settled. It was so crowded and noisy that I had trouble concentrating for hours.
Charging my phone to study was also another source of pain. Every other day I had to send it to a refill service in the morning and wait until the afternoon to get it back, wasting an entire day.
Exam week finally took place in August. I had to scramble to find a good internet connection, and when I did, I had to pay a huge amount of money to use it for an hour. I did what I could in the exams.
Three weeks later, I received the results: A+ on both exams. I couldn’t stop smiling that day.
Then I started studying the second part of the semester and the other three exams I took in September.
I finished this impromptu semester almost a year after the war began – a year of displacement, loss, tent life, nightmares and constant explosions. As I struggled to study, I realized how much I missed the little “luxuries” of my previous life: my desk, my bed, my room, my tea and my chocolate bars.
These two months of exam preparation were just a small distraction from the overwhelming feelings of loss and despair in the midst of this ongoing genocide. It was like an injection of anesthetic to help me forget a little bit of the pain of my miserable life.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Tel Aviv Tribune.
