Hugs and communication: how Denmark fights against bullying at school

Meditation, hugs and confidences, this is how the days begin for the twenty children in a class at Sluseholmen Skole elementary school in Copenhagen.

“Children should feel safe”

For Maja and Louise, their two teachers, school learning also involves well-being. “I’m the person they can talk to if they feel in trouble and I also talk a lot about who I am, what I like,” Maja Hindsgaul tells us as a student comes to hug her. "I tell them it’s OK if they like to cuddle, I like that too," she assures, smiling.

“Of course, they have to learn to read and write, but for that they have to feel safe,” believes the teacher. “It’s my mission, that they feel safe and that they can develop social skills at school,” she indicates.

One of the students, Nour, shows us posters “about what to do at school, the good things you can do,” she tells us before adding: “That’s our goal: to be a good class!”

Alberte, her friend, adds: “If someone is upset, we can go ask them if they need a hug. And we help each other with homework, but also in general,” underlines the little girl.

Practice social skills

Learning to live together is an integral part of teaching, as in the workshop we attend and in which the children create imaginary planets in pairs.

“We always try to get kids to work together in different types of groups, mixing girls and boys, and not always with their best friends, but also with kids they don’t usually work with,” explains Louise Ibsen, teacher. “They also practice their social skills, for example, how to communicate and how to compromise on different ideas,” she describes.

These methods are part of programs implemented in many Danish schools to combat bullying, starting in kindergarten. The children fully embrace it.

"Everyone totally respects each other," assures Polly. “Friends help you if children mistreat you because friends stop them and call the teacher,” she explains. “And suddenly, they stop and we become happy again,” she congratulates herself.

Parents have their role to play

One of his comrades, Oliver adds: “I used to be bullied by someone, but now it’s over, the teachers have sorted it out. It’s made me a lot happier not to be bullied, I feel like I’m being bullied more integrated,” the boy rejoices.

Fatemeh, Nour’s mother, is on the school’s board of directors. Parents of students participate in the development of school programs. In his eyes, they play a crucial role in preventing harassment.

"I think the most important thing is, if you see your kids feeling bad, you take them seriously and try to figure out what’s wrong," Fatemeh tells us. “We, as parents, need to talk to our children and know how to make them a little more robust so that they learn to face adversity,” she warns.

“The digital dimension makes things worse”

Denmark is one of the countries in Europe, along with Sweden and Finland, with the lowest rates of school bullying.

However, the telephone platform, managed by the Danish children’s rights NGO Børns Vilkår, has seen the number of calls related to harassment increase, as well as suicidal behavior, particularly among young adolescents.

“Calls related to harassment affect all age groups, but it is a particular problem for 10-15 year olds: this is the age where it is very important for a child to be part of a group and harassment is exclusion from the group,” explains Rasmus Kjeldahl, CEO of Børns Vilkår. “The digital dimension makes things worse because it doesn’t stop when you leave school,” he points out.

“A new type of teenager that we must support”

Helle Hansen is one of the Danish experts to have developed the bullying prevention programs implemented in schools for around fifteen years in Denmark.

Programs that have proven their worth, but which must be reinvented, she says, to face new realities.

“It’s harder to be a teenager,” says Helle Rabøl Hansen. “We have had confinement, Covid, we feel more alone; in general, well-being is affected,” she continues. “Young people or children who bully others need something: they need to understand the meaning of being here and that they are part of something,” she insists. “We are facing a new type of teenager and we must support them,” she says. “If we don’t understand them, they face meaninglessness and meaninglessness is one of the reasons why they start harassing others,” she points out.

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“We work on trust”

Understanding teenagers is obvious to the principal of the Greve Gymnasium high school near Copenhagen.

Like many Danish schools, it displays a charter dedicated to the fight against bullying on its website. More than sanctions, what matters above all is group dynamics and dialogue with students. They participate in the anti-harassment strategy, as in all the rules governing high school life.

“We try to connect with students in many ways and talk with them about teaching, teaching principles, what they do in their free time and how they interact on social media, we have course on this,” specifies principal Mette Trangbæk. “It is very important that we dare to get closer to them and intervene to make their lives easier in class and in their free time,” she adds. “We work on trust because trust allows us to get closer to them and act on problems,” she says.

Taking students’ opinions into account

Confidence which we have demonstrated in a final year class preparing to take a mathematics course. A group of students chose to leave the room to talk to us about the issue of bullying, under the watchful eye of their teacher.

Before that, their teacher Sanne Yde Schmidt addresses the class: “I am an authority in my field, math and history, but I am not an authority on what you should do or think.” The students nod.

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"It’s about accountability, I think a lot of bullying results from hierarchies that don’t work," continues the professor. “So people try to gain power by intimidating someone else and if you don’t need that because you have power over your own life from the start, that changes everything,” she assures.

One of her students, Lucija tells us: “We learn from a young age to treat others as we would like to be treated, it’s an integral part of our education and it’s also something we think about before speaking badly to someone.”

“Students have a fairly strong voice in decisions made by the school,” adds Mathias, one of his comrades. “So, if we ever learn that one of our comrades is having problems, we can talk about it directly to the board of directors, where our opinion will really be taken into account,” he assures.

Be a whole person

“In Denmark, I believe that teachers, but also parents at home, are seen more as confidants and guides, rather than authorities to be respected and accountable to,” indicates Jonathan, another high school student.

“So if you are a victim of cyberbullying in Denmark, I think everyone will have someone older that they can contact who can help them solve the problem,” he believes.

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Teacher Sanne Yde Schmidt concludes: “They missed math class, but they learned something else very important, which is that it’s also part of being an adult, deciding what’s important. Being a whole person helps you feel good about yourself and prevents bullying,” she insists.

Beside him, Xenia, one of his students, adds: “I think Denmark is a country that does a good job of giving the feeling that we are a person, an individual and that we are heard and seen.”

“Important!” completes his teacher. “And important!” continues Xenia, enthusiastically.