Mawasi Khan Younis, Gaza – The last words of her son haunt Ghalia Radwan.
“Forgive me, mom,” said the 24-year-old player, dying, shot down by Israeli soldiers when he was on a rescue mission on March 23, which he recorded until his last breath.
He wanted his forgiveness for the pain that his death would cause, knowing that she was worried about him every day since he had become an ambulancer.
“I forgive you, my son,” whispered Ghalia since then, knowing that Rifaat had wanted her conscience to be clear before dying in the south of Gaza with 14 other emergency workers.
She hopes he knows that she would always forgive him.
‘I felt like a dagger pierced my heart’
On the morning of March 22, Ghalia woke up later than usual and rushed to see Rifaat before leaving for work.
But he had already left, and his heart filled with dread.
“I continued to look at him the previous night when he was sleeping for any reason,” she said.
The night of March 21 was trivial. Rifaat came home in time to quickly break his Ramadan with his family in the movement tent in which they live.
After the simple Iftar meal, he spoke a little with his parents and then fell asleep.
“Even if I miss it terribly and I always can’t wait for him to come home so that we can chat, we have always made sure not to tire him with speaking or staying late,” said Rifaat’s father, Anwar Radwan, 52.
Ghalia agrees: “I would wash her clothes and prepare her bedroom, so that he could go to work rested.”
She is not sure but believes that Rifaat woke up at dawn for Suhoor, the daily meal before fasting begins during Ramadan, and was picked up at 6 am by her colleagues to go to work. He did not go home after this quarter of work, spending the night at the first center of the respondents.
On March 23, the family was informed that Rifaat was one of the 15 rescue workers in the Civil Defense and fearing Israeli soldiers.
This news launched the family in eight days of tormented waiting, praying and hoping that Rifaat would be found alive.
“I would punctuate back and forth, crying, praying and pleading with God, while constantly calling the Red Crescent,” said Ghalia about waiting while the Palestinian authorities were trying to make Israel accept a research operation. “Whenever they told us that Israeli coordination had been refused, I would vanish pure pain.”
On the morning of Eid al-Fitr, the family received an appeal from the Red Crescent that Israeli permission had finally been granted to research teams to enter the region.
“I would not like these dying hours to wait for a mother in the world,” said Ghalia.
There is no internet cover in the family tent, so Anwar should go to an internet point in the camp to check the updates.
He returned to the tent at some point and said that the red croissant had found two bodies, then rushed again, leaving Ghalia desperately praying that Rifaat is not among them
The next time Anwar will return, he said that four bodies had been recovered and rushed.
During his third trip, he said they had recovered six bodies, including Rifaat.
“I felt like a dagger pierced my heart, but I resigned myself to the will of God, and we went to the hospital.”
In the hospital, the families of other paramedical paramedics awaited the arrival of the bodies of their loved ones.
“We all rushed to the ambulances, crying. The emergencies were bitterly while giving farewell to their colleagues. ”
‘Forgive me’
As excruciating as the expectation of the news was nothing compared to the search for the video that Rifaat had recorded from his last moments, which was found after his body.
Over about 20 minutes, Rifaat can be heard of the mission on which they were.
An ambulance that had gone to the region of Tal As-Sultan, in the south of Gaza, to save the survivors from an Israeli bombardment had disappeared around 4 am on March 23.
Another ambulance that came out to find him radio at the base to say that the missing colleagues seemed to have been slaughtered, and two other ambulances were sent to help them. Rifaat was in one.
His video clearly shows concern in the ambulance and the fact that all emergency vehicles – including a civil defense firefighter – were clearly marked and had their lights lit, not extinguished as Israel initially claimed when he was trying to justify killing 15 emergency workers and burying them and burying them and their vehicles.
In the video, Ghalia was able to hear when her son spotted the bodies of her colleagues and see everyone in the ambulance rushing to help them because they wore clearly identifiable uniforms.
Then came the noise of gunshots, and Rifaat fell to the ground while the visuals were obscured and only his voice remained as he repeated the Shahada, the Islamic Declaration of Faith, and begged his mother to forgive him.
“Forgive me, mom,” he said. “I wanted to help people. Forgive me. “
The two declarations are linked to the faith of Rifaat. Shahada is the most important declaration and prayer recited by Muslims. They also say about their death beds to reaffirm their faith.
Muslims believe that the way to heaven is through their parents and having lived a good life and not to harm anyone, and Rifaat wanted to die knowing that his mother would forgive him in death.
“Rifaat knew how deeply I was attached to him and how I was constantly worried about him, so his last words asked for my forgiveness because he knew that losing it would break my heart,” said Ghalia to Tel Aviv Tribune, his eyes overflowing with tears.
The boy who has become an ambulancer
“My son was beautiful and charming. I loved it. He was beautiful, generous and giving limitations, ”says Ghalia.
Anwar remembers a child who has always run after ambulances, firefighter trucks, bulldozers, everything that has emergency flashing lights and a mermaid.
“(Rifaat) loved emergency work, and when he finished his secondary studies, he chose this path.”
Ghalia was worried when Rifaat chose emergency medical services, joining Palestine Red Crescent Society in October 2023 when the War of Israel against Gaza began but sold when Rifaat showed how determined.
“He told me the same thing when he said in his last moments:” Mom, I want to help people. “”
Throughout the War of Israel, Ghalia was constantly feared for the safety of Rifaat, warning and begging him to stay safe.
Whenever he came home after a difficult day, Rifaat told his mother what he had seen while trying to save people.
“I would wash his uniform soaked in blood while he apologized and told me how he had recovered the remains of children, women and men under the rubble,” she said.
“He was often devastated, but he never abandoned.”
Rifaat had dreamed of continuing his studies abroad, to learn more about emergency interventions and return to Gaza to bring her education home to restore people, says Ghalia.
“(It was also) our only support for the basis because of his father’s illness until he completely exhausts his bank account one day.
“I broke down while crying, but he reassured me and said that everything was fine, that I shouldn’t be sad.”
He is proud of Ghalia when she talks about her son, comforts himself because he sacrificed himself to serve and help others.
“The message of my son Rifaat will live, and I will raise my young sons to follow his traces and become paramedical paramedics,” said Ghalia, referring to his sons Abdul Jawwad, 13, and Suleiman, 11.
“Rifaat has left us a noble message and an eternal impact,” she adds.
“I always think of him every time I see the flowers and plants he has planted around our tent.”
